Y-you…
You called me? and you sounded happy? I’ll let this night go on to see if this welcoming behavior continues.
“I could call you baby doll all the time, and you’d whisper in my ears, you’d say, ‘I miss you, boy. Sing it over again and over again and over again…’”
Ugh.
It’s becoming way too much for me to handle. I swear, bro. >_< way~ too much. I don’t know why I keep making wishes at 11:11 if they don’t work ( in exception to yesterday :3 ). But my hope will have me continue the habit.
Teenage Expectations: A big group of friends, sneaking out of my house, making out, late nights under the stars, crying on my best friend's shoulder, passing notes in class, going on adventures, getting out of my town, campfires, telling secrets, feeling what it's like to fall in love, not caring about how you look, not caring about people's opinions, road trips, parties, driving around, getting lost, endless laughter, happiest years.
Teenage Reality: Feeling lonely, staying in, waking up early, going to school, worrying about your looks, worrying about your weight, crying over people's crudeness, crying far too often, school, homework, bitches, people trying to ruin things in your life to make you unhappy, being stressed, trapped in the town I hate, feeling nothing remotely close to love, keeping every little emotion bottled up, spending too much time on the internet, waiting for the better years to come to you.
Suu.
I tell him I’ve been coughing vigorously for almost three weeks…and he says ‘cool’.
Is he changing, or is he just tired of me? 0.0
Teehee.
Today was actually probably the greatest days of school I’ve had.
Chillin’ after school with 3 of my best frands was an epic win man :D
Whoa, what if we became like an inseperable group? A L double J! :3
Despite the increasing headaches and panic attacks, sophomore year seems to be the best so far :D
Btw, got FFXIII-2 and Soul Calibur 5 yesterday! :D
Wow.
How could I have not ever taken the time to figure out he could have been going through just as much emotions as me?
… How could I have been so selfish? Seriously? @.@ He’s depressed himself thinking about life, and all I can worry about is how sad I was about him and I. I want to cheer him up, but I don’t want to bother him. GAAHHHH.
I know I do it a lot, but I don’t like when you ask someone what the matter is, and they say ‘nothing’ or that they don’t want to talk about it. It makes me really sad because the decision you made not to tell me completely destroys the idea of making our friendship / relationship closer than it already is. Whenever someone is sad, I like to use that as an opportunity. An opportunity not only to make them feel better, but for us to be as close as I wanted us to. I want you to let me in so I can discover more of who you are ( even if you feel you may not know ), and you can discover who I am. And…I feel bad to say it, but I also like feeling like someone’s savior. It just feels amazing to hear ’ I’m feeling better, because of this person’ or ’ I realized I can connect with someone else in this world, thanks to this person. I hope I have him/her around for a long time’. It makes me feel so wonderful to hear that. It make me feel like…I matter to someone.
So, I just wish I could say to this person, let me matter to you. Let us know each other even more and be closer than ever before.
But I’m too scared…great.
_<
